![]() We victimize ourselves to make us out to be innocent sufferers, who have no role in the problem. We villainize others to exaggerate perceived negative attributes. When we feel threatened or stressed, we amplify our negative emotions by telling negative stories that absolve us of responsibility and put the blame on others or our environment. Remember, what you permit, you also promote. When you catch problems early, it makes them easier later on. One of the great benefits to speaking up early is that you have fewer hairy, scary, big conversations. They realize if they don’t speak up early and often, they are choosing to perpetuate and, often, worsen the situation – and their reaction to the situation. ![]() They think first about the risks of not speaking up. People who are best at communication don’t think first about the risks of speaking up. When under pressure, do your communication skills rob your team of hard-earned results and psychological safety? What about your personal influence? If your analysis leads you to the conclusion that it’s time to make changes, consider learning a few skills to achieve dialogue, no matter how high the stakes. These data should motivate every leader to take an honest review of his or her own style under stress. It also impacts morale and psyche: Team members are more likely to consider leaving their job, more likely to shut down and stop participating, less likely to go above and beyond in their responsibilities, more likely to be frustrated and angry, and more likely to complain. When asked how their leader’s style impacts their results, survey respondents said that when their leader clams up or blows up, team members are more likely to miss deadlines, budgets and quality standards and act in ways that drive customers away. When leaders buckle under pressure, it doesn’t just hurt their influence it also hurts their teams. His team felt it was those few moments – the five percent of all moments, when stakes were high and the heat was on – that revealed the truth about who he really was. While it was true that his team agreed he was great 95 percent of time, it was also true that his non-routine behavior was what left a lasting impression. Thirty percent are more devious and deceitful than candid and honest.Thirty-seven percent avoid or sidestep rather than being direct and unambiguous.Forty-three percent are more angry and heated than cool and collected.Forty-five percent ignore or reject rather than listen or seek to understand. ![]()
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